Monday, November 30, 2009

The Other Garden, untied circumstance.

At dawn,
I never let myself be taken in.

You,
A woman with feathers have come so often lately,
Under my mind, I'm tearing apart, the dark that I should.

I'm beginning to see those sounds,
that i never thought I would hear.
Over there a door knocking,
for example with someone you hate.

Beside me,
a light bulb is revolving, wall to wall,
reminder of the great sun, completely collapsed,
down to the sore toe of the white universe.

its chalky light, rings,
once again, different way,

like the sound of a watch,
on your cold white wrist,
which is reaching for a particular moment...

...to reoccur...which is here...now...me and you.

An Early of His Loves Story

"It was a very Grey sky on the park today, phewww~ what a boring day as usual."
That was Jiro driving back home after hangout with some of his own buddies. As usual there is nothing much to do lately for him except record songs, mixing work, sleeping, taking order from his dad and playing guitar.

Once at home, with usual routine he hooked up on the internet web community called Tagged. Obviously at first he join this tagged web because of funny bastard and horny lousy bitch, but not all of them are the same, but it is bit different than Myspace and Facbook which not really gather a lot of high life style people or arrogant bastard like they have in Myspace or Facebook. Tagged is more a place like real kampung people or the real Malaysian people, not like some other in MS and FB all are wanna be and kind of socialism center.

Most of the time, Jiro will just login and look for cool , pretty, cute face only and just add but not even contact them, Jiro is not a pervert but he likes to observe cute girl to see different kind of beauty in different of perspective. Also love to watch some stupid wanna be or maybe the perfect stupid exploiter.

So he click, he add, he click, he add. Got approval, some chicks will sent him a message, but he reply with a very lousy and lazy ass. Got picture comment but cant stop those people to tag or comment him with stupid big big comment picture and making money lousy stuff. After he caught on one girl, with a blue shirt and big shades.. he ask "she look interesting, doesn't she? lets check her up."

He came in to her profile "Shah Alam huh? well very interesting, let see if this girl really a snobbish person or not, kinda fun to get into argument." So he add her, but looks at her name or what, just saw her location Shah Alam, he go straight to picture gallery.

"Well well well, not so bad, she's kinda cute one, but with all this edited picture its hard to believe, some more is she another lesbian for today?" he thinking that way as some of the picture is with a pengkid in a dorm room. But what the heck for Jiro, just add her, put her in my top list as usual, only the diamond deserve to shine but we could never know what the value is.

So he make a move to send a private message
"hello cheng hahah~ shah alam stay ket ne ehh? mmg org shah alam yerk?"
Today still a boring day he said. A lot of work to be done, some more doing recordings for Iqeat project, and he always realize how boring and lonely he was. He kept looking at photo of him and his ex-girlfriend "I used to be the happiest guy on earth, life, music, band, money, career, all go so well until this stuck up bitch turn me into an asshole. What a life..."

Jiro not do very well in a relationship even he giving the best of him towards it, but at the end, only he been dumped with a cruelty way. Last winter, her girl friend dumped her because another guy, but he know that was not the real story till he figure out that her ex-girlfriend already been with him for 3 months and already did all the intimation. How frustrated he was, much more she left the band and There Was A Car Crashed also disbanded as everyone is leaving after that incident. He quit his day job, back to his worst life, drug trafficking, alcohol abuse and start up a gang of brutality.

He totally lost his faith on everything, he not even trust anyone anymore, he get more hatred, he hates hypocrite extremely, he dislike poser's, even he lost his touch of guitar and music for quite some. He hang up with high class people who don't give a shit about life, met up few bastard and every night is always a long run. But get back to the old track doesn't really bad as it is.

He started to see the new generation conflict, rebellious, non-virgin 14 years old girl, drug heaven and social life that really disturbing the roots and spirit. He realize he once to be in this stage but the environment was totally different. Kiddo now days more chasing nothing, doing stupid things, don't even catch a respect for reputation and achievement.

He was a bad guy in high school, he used drug even better, he manage things right, but it just not the same. Back in the days we stick like a family, we're ganged up for not come and whack people, but for the life we shared. We're survivor, but kids now days, all of them was pampered by money, sex, alcohol, drugs and even worst selling life for prove something that not even realistic, it is a delusion of sensation. We're united and never be divided and the only thing we want to prove to people is we can make it what ever we want to achieve because the real world is so bias. We just little bit rebel because we always not get anything that ours. But today, all this bullshit in town are just to show of. They was given to much until they already forget the value of having it, the value of chasing it, and the value of appreciate it.

And that's why he realize, the rich, the poor, the good looking, the bad guy looking now days all are the same. The rich will ditch the poor, and the poor will keep on giving trouble to the rich. The good looking will keep poison girls how bad is the bad guy but at the end they just wanna slept with them. And the bad guy, always the bad guy. All of them hypocrite, they just doing things to get returns in favors. For bad or for good, just the same.

Again he had slow down, he felt so boring with this life, that's the reason why he is here doing his own things, music alone with superhuman crew, online, studying and keep thing low as he can. Because he used to be on the top of everyone but nothing was there, it just a crap of place that so many people wanted so much.

Suddenly he login and there he got one message in tagged. Its from that blue shirt and big shades girl..
"holla..
i stay kt uitm shah alm gk dalm hostel...
i bkn org shah alm..i org kelantan tp d bsrkn d KL n Kuantan...
u??"
He smiled. And with happy mood, he not reply it yet, because started to think that he should be nice to her, stop being ass and jerk to all the girl or not he will end up lonely forever. So he keep on thinking but nothing could get him on words to attract her, somehow he gave up and say "Better i just be my self, if she really want to make friends with me, let her decide it."

So he reply;

"holla..

hehehe owwhh study sana la ehh.. heheh study course apa?

i plak mmg orang shah alam :) asal sini hehehe so skung kira asal KL atau kuantan?"

Not yet login, he go into her photo gallery again and check her up, he just smile and keep smiling for no reason but he feel real good that time.

IQEAT show is another 1 week on to go, Jiro kinda busy helping Iqeat out for practicing and encourage Ema to do well on the show it self. He got less time to online, but because of Cheng he managed him self before of to bed to check his mailbox, but no luck, there is no replies. He just continue his stuff to wander around in tagged for something that can put him to sleep.

So day by day, time by time, there is no reply from her until there is a new private message, its not a reply from previous one, Cheng ask him to add her on YM as she not that often to logon to tagged.

He add her and BUZZZ there she is, yeh he seems so happy so they chat for a quite as he need to go out that time. They talk about each other, Jiro seems so happy and ask her alot of question but he being so careful, he don't want to end up being a crap person or have a bad intention towards her, and that time he realize, he really likes her. But the beat never up tempo all the time till she mention to him that she just wanna be single and don't want to commit in any relationship. He quite disappointing even he not approach her in any way. But he keep the positive energy with him and he said "She was a fun girl, maybe i don't need her to be my girlfriend as long she always around and not missing."

Another 2 days for Iqeat show, he was planning to ask her out, so he invited her to come with, but he not that brave enough to be directly to her. He just push him self to ask her out and ask for her number, but what do you say huh? He managed to get her number out of the odds he been calculating. But well, he not that type of guy anymore to give a call and sweet chit chat things, he knows Cheng is not like the average girl that he used to be with, Cheng managed to made him to respect her more and more. Even he don't know what happen to him self, but it was okay for him as long Cheng was there to talk with.

The night came, Iqeat show, he was nervous to go and meet her, his heart beating fast, he cant even calm, he trying so hard to calm, but lost of track. There she is knocking his car windows "Oh my god, she even more cute on live."

So together they go to Lepaq cafe where the show being held. While driving, they talk a bit, he was a bit shy and less word, but he always know he good at being a jerk and do jokes, most likely the more he control his attitude the more he being him self, he can't resist it. Piratically at the cafe, Jiro always serve his good friend more than any one, Jiro and Cheng was sit at separate table, but Jiro cant get his eyes on her, he felt guilty, but the place was packed, no room to to fit a person on his side, even he manage to but she coming with her friend and its kinda rude to ask her to left her friend alone.

Later that night, because she cant go back to her dorm because already past curfew, he accompany her hang out at Mc Donalds till the break of dawn. He get to talk with her more and more, Jiro being so transparent, he not even shame to share about his past to her, he know, she not a type of person that will judge by it cover or his past. Iqeat with them as well. Jiro told Iqeat privately that he really likes her, but not yet reach to love her as both of them know what happen to Jiro last winter, all the miserable thing comes at once. But he did ask Iqeat to take her photo candidly or if got a chance, please take a photo of him with her.

After that session, they always hang out together. More often, but there is one time when Jiro again to face the disappointment when she state out that be with friend is already better than get a boy friend. He was so depress, because he knows he already fall in love with her, so he just hold his wish to approach her because he was afraid to lose her at all and to face the rejection sooner. Start from that point he try to set his mind to not approach her, just put the line where he just only can be friend, maybe he started to give up.

There is a time when she follow Jiro to the jamming session, that was really a tiring day, he not get enough sleep plus with preparation for the jamming it self already kill him. But its not that bad at all. Jiro always enjoy jamming but the matter is after the jamming. He felt that Cheng less talking to him. Even Cheng don't want him to accompany her at Mc Donalds and ask him to go home and get a good sleep. But Jiro is so negative at that times, he just wanted to be with her, to laugh and get laughed, so he just being sad and sitting at the car park alone with Iqeat a cup of coffee. But it was one of the best moment when Cheng came out and surprised him and ask him to join. And that night is the very first time they had a photo together. Even cool is Cheng edited the picture, and he can see it how much effort and love she put to edit that picture. He loves it.

He got text message from her, she said UITM semester break is around the corner, she need to get back to her home town for a long time, he felt worried if he cant meet her anymore. So he made a plan to go out all day for the last time, so he asked her out for a movie, but he was stupid when the time he supposed to pick her up he was fall asleep and missed it. He very upset to him self. He manage to get the second chance, this time he not sleep at all for 2 days to ensure he not miss it again.

So they going out to Cineliesure, they are planning to watch Phobia, Thailand horror movie. But there was a mistake that he does before entering the cinema. Because lack of sleeping, he so caught up with his own emotional, he felt like Cheng not even treat him well, he feels like Cheng more talking to Iqeat instead of him, so he confuse and the negative taught was there, he thinks Cheng likes Iqeat more than him. He is so caught up till he lose his temper a bit and yell at Cheng about it. Drastically he felt guilty and shame of his unprofessional attitude. He couldn't say a word. He not that dumb yet, it always Jiro kind of style, he will say sorry as soon as possible before he caught up with another disaster of guiltiness. Once he sit, he whisper to her and apologizing. She just smile and say
"tak best la kalau budak kecik i nih marah marah, hype ler k"
He smile back and say "OK!", he notice that he sit to near to her, now the real conflict of life begun, he want to sit right next to her and very close but he afraid that she will felt uncomfortable, in his head keep rewinding about her saying being single is better and have friends around is more than enough. He so so caught up, he don't know what to do, either respect her all out or try to give a shot. He not even concentrate on that movie, suddenly the screaming part comes, this is sound tricky but in a split second he think of a classic way to grab her hand, soon the ghost came, he hold her hand and tease her because of being afraid. But that time he feel relief because he can feel it very obviously, its not just him that hold that hand, she even hold tighter. He just smiling while watching horror movie. **Isn't that sound so stupid? Bake des~

So he came back to the track, happy till night. He cant get enough, he just smile, smile and smile. And he confirmed that he loves her so very much. But he don't want to take any advance step because he respect her as wanted to be single, he don't want to face any rejection or losing someone that make him happy. He just want her to be around and that's more important.

After a few days, they went out again to Sunway Pyramid, it maybe the last time they are meeting because Cheng have to go back to her hometown for the semester break. So Jiro wanna take a lot of picture with her. They really got a very good time, they happy and Jiro never been that happy since last winter. He feel of heaven ground, and he careless about others that time, all he ever wanted to see she was happy and laughing. He can hold her hands, hug her and even better they care for each other.

But Jiro don't want to make it the last day, he really want to know how it feel to meet her alone. So Jiro fix up a very fast idea, he ask her to kept all the photo taken from Sunway Pyramid and save it in her pendrive, he promise to return it back before he take a leave. But Jiro think that Cheng already figure out that idea, so that's why maybe Cheng just go with the flow.

Later tomorrow, according to Jiro plan, he should return her pendrive that evening, well Jiro seems like not very happy that time, because Cheng have to leave the town. So he request Cheng to just come alone, he just wait at usual place, Jiro never think any advance plan, he just plan to return the pendirve. But what a lucky charm, he ask her out for a ride just near by and she agree. So they talk alot about their self. Share their problem and so on. So now we're near to the best part..

Later that night when he sent her back to her dorm, she left him with a cute little black doll. Its really cute, and he was so happy as she said that was her replacement to accompany him around when she's out of town. And suddenly she kiss him for a very first time. In that split second, he could see everything he ever had, the bad feeling and the bad history once again all flushed away with that magical kissed. He was shocked. He cant let her go, he almost crying but he force to not to. She comfort him and ask him to not be save, she want him to be hype all the time and she need him when she back here again. He promise her to always keep on waiting, it's really on his own will. Since that moment, they talk to each other everyday, on the phone, on the text, on YM on what ever can to be contacted. Every day they keep saying "I Love You" to each other.

See, if we believe that love not just about being together, its more to believe in each other, trust, respect and loyalty, we really could create real love, its more than just being declare that he's mine and she's mine or maybe we don't need that sort of declaration, all we need is patient and keep feeding the love with what love really need. Not over controlling the love, let it made from sincerity. If we do it right, not because we just want her or he to be ours, we really can change a person that say they don't need relationship or love by prove it to them that it is not so bad to get involved.

Jiro really loves Cheng so much, and today he really work hard to not just for today relationship, but for something beyond after today. Yes a lot of people telling us not to work hard for something we not sure but is it wrong if we just have the believing on to cherish it?



"Kita hanya mampu merancang, Tuhan yang menentu kan. Jadi lah kita seorang yang perancang yang baik, kerana ketentuan Tuhan bagi orang yang berusaha adalah berbaloi dari malas dan mengharap ketntuan Tuhan pada nya sering yang baik baik belaka sahaja. Hidup dengan tuah tidak seindah hidup dengan usaha, lebih lagi pada kepercayaan dan keikhlasan."


Saturday, November 28, 2009

Si Cibai adalah Kanan


Click image to enlarge it

Unsolved Case of IQEAT

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Did you know....


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Thursday, November 26, 2009

I Miss You, even bad, I will Miss You More Soon.

I Miss You,
When I listen to the sound of a piano softly singing,
When I hear the stars giggling at night,
When the imposing, deafening, roaring noise of silence assaults me,


Do you miss me now that you are gone,

my smile, my touch, the smell of my hair,

The way I always showed you I cared?

Do you miss watching me nose picking? ,


The memories flash before me,

It makes me want to cry,

I miss you even more when they appear,


When You’re Beside Me…

I Love You

When You’re Away From Me…

I Miss You


Thinking back on the times we had

The good the bad the ugly the sad,

I start to cry wish i never had,

Never had done anything to make you sad,


You are all that I dream about,

when there is no more sun that I can see,

You are all I really need,
when my days are short,

I miss your smile that cheers my day, Your happy pix that tells me you are on your way,

....I Miss You So Badly IBU..mwah !!


***ni semua pasal ibu kene tembak awal sgt malam tadi.. :(

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Bitter Passion, like love, a bit of fluff.

"Her desire was no secret. One evening front outside of the hotel in the car she came straight out with it, putting her hand on his arm and saying in soft, excited whisper, Why couldn't there be something for us? So she hand the Black and kiss him gently....

...he had lived here for several years, and there had been several girl during this time. None lasted more than enough or so, and then he would stay by himself...

...but not after he meets her,
Green Light for Love."

Did she fall or was she pushed?



"Dear god, please forgive us for this terrible thing. We are so much in love, and the world all against us. There is no other way. Now we can end the suffering of ourselves and others. Please understand..."
Jeffriezal and Amiera.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Murder! Murder! Murder!


Murder !
Murder !

Murder !
One killed for jealousy,
Another for greed,
A third for lust,
Another out of vengeance,
And still another to escape blackmail....

There were others, too,
and each had a different reason.

But there were two facts common to all of them


....They all committed murder, and
they all got away with it!

Disenchanted


Well I was there on the day
They sold the cause for the queen,
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen.
I hate the ending myself,
But it started with an alright scene.

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing.
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard, it would sting

If I'm so wrong
How can you listen all night long?
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a god damned thing.

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to you

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on TV
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean.

So go, go away, just go, run, run away.
But where did you run to? And where did you hide?
Go find another way, price you pay

-by My Chemical Romance-

Lose You



I'm
Taking a ride
Off to one side
It is a personal thing
Where, When I cant stand
Up in this cage I'm not regretting

I don't need a better thing
Id settle for less
Its another thing for me
I just have to wander through this world alone

Stop
before you fall
Into the hole that I have dug here
Rest, Even as you
Are starting to feel the way I used to

I don't need a better thing
Just to sound confused
Don't talk about everyone
I am not amused by you

'Cause I'm gonna lose you
Yes, I'm gonna lose you
If I'm gonna lose you
Ill lose you now for good

Lately


Lately,
I see my self again in the same place,
place of chaos between hearts and brain,
logic and emotional, defined me feeling please.

Lately,
I have to agree on things I'm not familiar,
to projecting something that project me,
proving something that I'm not will come with.

Lately,
i do running a lot, running from what i should face,
inhale, exhale, construction of conscious,
smiling face, sadist eyes, pale.

Lately,
I should know, whats beyond,
unrecognized feelings, addicting,
logic and emotional, lately again it is an argument inside.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Drama


Do you really believe you mama?
Every night she always wearing pajamas,
You know the story about karma?

You all are full of shit of drama.



written on 2002, taken from www.communityzero.com/thugster

Killing is aint a fair


Want to keep your pressure away,
Maybe there is a way,
But please don't kill any body,
Because it is so not fair,

Just keep calm and stay,
"I need to keep it lay",
I know you have been trying,
Constantly you pushing it,

Just because you don't have a choice to run away,
Please don't make it in easy way,
Just seat and think what I'd say,
Killing is ain't a fair...
...but still somebody got to do it.


written on 2002, taken from www.communityzero.com/thugster

Lousy Tears

in memory, we got a lot of thinking,
we had joy and we had sad,
sometimes we feel nothing,
and sometimes we feel something,

when our eyes blurry,
it really can make people worried,

and do please feel the fear,
about what we having,
about what we seeing,
we cant make it a promising,
but we can compromising,

it's no turning back,
maybe we just stuck and feel bad,
so, please baby shack,
no mo tears like a baby crack.

written on 2002, taken from www.communityzero.com/thugster

Friends


"Look around and all i see is snakes and face,
Like scavengers waiting to take a hustle pape's,
And when you stuck where the fuck is your friends,

....They straight busted and cant be trusted."

written on 2002, taken from www.communityzero.com/thugster

Unpretty

look in the mirror and feeling funny,
asking your self why you're not pretty,
keep crying when you feeling bias,
please not be so shy,

all human are pretty,
by different mind and different kind,
you think you so ugly,
that's a line full of lies,

someday I'm sure,
you will feel so happy,
someone loves you will come in a jiffy,
and try to make you believe,
that you are so pretty.


written on 2002, taken from www.communityzero.com/thugster

Did you really know how much you mean to me?


Sometimes I wake up,
in the middle of the night,
shivering from fright,
feeling empty, feeling nothing because,
I think about how it would be,
if you weren't here.

And then,
I wonder if you really know,
how very much you mean to me,
how incredible I think you are,
how you are a part of all my emotions,
how you are the deepest meaning in my life.

Please always know that
I love you more than anything,
else in the world.

Solitude

I thought of age, and loneliness, and change.
I thought how strange we grow when we're alone,
And how unlike the selves that meet, and talk,
And blow the candles out, and say good-night.
Alone...the word is life endured and known.
The stillness where our spirits walk
And all but inmost faith is overthrown.

Not waving but drowning


Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

'Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way',
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
Still the dead man lay moaning
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

The Little Irrationality


Usually i quoting someone else's word. The least i can do is give you some Greg originals, they wont be poetic, but they'll be the truth.


"Yes, being alone desensitizes you,
but it also forces you to see what's more important.
Love and loyalty.

Because a con like you knows neither exists in this place.

So don't run from who you become, failure.

Embrace it, grow from it, and you'll never lose sight of what truly matters.


That's my final piece of advice, friend.

You protect your love at all costs,
even if you're forced to kill again...
....because if i had to,
I'd wipe out the whole planet to get mine back."

Purify


"What ever happened, do not leave the car,

When your life defined by a single action.....
....you change the concept of time"


-9:17am-

Epidemic: Seasons in the trend

Everybody want to be a photographer

Well
, its nothing to be surprise anymore.. the significant of lens and SLR camera.

It is a new professional career epidemic for Malaysian youth. Like what we used to see 7 years ago, when web design, fashion design, graphic design and IT was always the first choice for the 18 years old teenager to complete the form. Now 2009 or rather from late 2008, photography is like a new age for those youth. Passion of own one of the SLR even the low grade its like a must, or maybe it just like "If i got one, i get more friend, I'm not going for professional, it just a hobby".

Talk about hobby, what happen to Tamiya? Action figure? Electronics gadget? Graffiti? Skateboarding? Inline? Bikes? Break dance? Bands? SLR owned them. For understanding, yes! everyone want to be creative and artistic but in which terms of their value of it?

I'm not a photographer, even not really familiar with camera it self, not kind of like taking picture even for my self. For 24 years i walk to a lot of era, I see Malaysian is really good at doing a new things. I see a lot people holding SLR now days, and population state that most of them not even a photography student. Positive angle of mine said they do great and even all the picture taken are very impressive, but still positive never stand alone, negative side is they are killing the real photographer.

Why they killing the professional? It is simple, most of technical part can be learn from the student, friends, internet, research and books, and so they can do adaption and learn just to take the nice shot but not understanding on how u can take a very nice shot and do it again. Malaysian is very familiar with the habits of "Just Do It", when they got the good result, they will compare with the professional student and came to a conclusion of "I don't even need a class, but still i can capture a great picture".

Mathematically, if you got 30 professional photographer who makes living out of it, giving their client the best service with the reliable payment that they get, and plus 70 non-professional photographer just doing it as a hobby but still if anybody want to get a wedding picture or bands picture still they can do it for them for free or just a little token would help, which group will the customer or client looking forward to? For sure the free and cheap price.

So now with 100 of pro and non pro photographer in the same line, but only got 40 people want to get a nice photo BUT don't mind if it is a pro works or not as long it is nice, what would happen to the other out of 40 demanding sector?

My point of view not to provoke all this photography activities as it is a positive hobby or works. But it not just happen in photography era, its happen to all era. It is an epidemic of "Seasons in the trend" or what we used to called it "Trendy".

Lets check back the time line 5 years ago, one band came up with Indie concept, 6 month later all the new Indie came up like a mushrooms. Most to most they killed the professional musician, not just that they killed the opportunity of music student it self as most of the Indie bands are not do for music terms, it just a trend.

Lets take a bit more, 10 years ago, one hip hop group came up and really make a real deal, after 6 month there are like 100's of hip hop group came up with different kind of style, but what the point of starting a things but never get done? Just to be a passerby.

Lets take another 2 years back, IT experts, hacker, computer technician, interior design, printing design and a lot more in the early days of multimedia, i bet all of your friends who are 21 and above are graduate in the same department.

Don't take all my opinion for rejection, i didn't say it was a lousy evolution, a lot of them create a new whole thing in this, but also do question your self, are u a killer to the professional? or you want to be professional it self?

Most of our people, our generation, never finish their job when they start it, tell me now do you got a friend who keep on trying to do anything but non of it get done? When there is something new trend came in, he change side ASAP, but never master the previous things he done. True or not?


I like all the arts and creativity they made no matter if it is professional or not. But please to remember one thing, stop exploiting things for granted, stop being a passerby, support all out the things you like, make a healthy community beside than being a stiff hardcore competitors, don't be an asshole, don't do for attention and please my dearest friend, support those people who giving an a big effort and spending to what they live for, don't kill em. They just want to have satisfaction in their passion, nothing more nothing less.

Before i end this, ask your self, "Am I a Fucken Trendy?"



P/s: Let see if after SLR era ends, is it an Era of Video making after this? I can see the baby are little now.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Speech

"..when words was create, it is really from god, it's so hard to understand how it present for meaning.."

Shutterspeeds to ShutterCrashed : RXF


"Shutterspeeds: A Slice of Time "
It's called still photography, as opposed to video photography, but every photograph is actually the record of a tiny slice of time; if it looks still, it's just an illusion.

All same goes to my music. Luckily for me, guitar make a lot more sense and are more self-explanatory in musics, however, like the other exposure bands, my band in general follow the same new and old school pattern. Typical RXF are expressed on
music in the following of more "Lab Rat" order.The characters of different RXF can be roughly divided into two; technical and creative characteristics.

2000 - 1000 - 500 - 250 - 125 - 60 - 30 - 15 - 8 - 2 - 1 - B

When you do press the shutter squeeze it don't jab at it.
It is important to know exactly what are your music it is. With many modern half skill's band with too much exposure has some effect; it may stop down the techn
ical musician or triggering the audience for less focusing on real shape of music - any combination or all of these actions may result. Pressing the music a little more usually results in the experimental concept. It's important that you know exactly what "a little more" for your particular band is. Triggering the keyboardist with female line up should never be a surprise anymore. You should know precisely the moment the music will turn you off. If your band is based on exposure with significant "stupid in music" this is easier to say than do but practice helps. Try to think exactly how your music behaves? With new concept and idea it's fun to learn how your music behaves by taking shots of it. Switch to a MTV or an internet and jam away. What you see when you listen to your music should be just what you anticipated. It's also good practice for anticipating the moment as well as getting to know your own music identities.

So far..


Girls can't count the time I'm used the line "Guitar is my turf" to turn down women who wanted to go with me

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Elephant Guitarist At LAST I Found You


AT LAST I CAN SEE MY VERY FAVORITE ANIMAL PLAY A GUITAR

THIS IS FUCKEN STONED MAN!!!

A Fragment

"When I see a cat crushed by a moving van,
I have a dreams of maniac rockers
miscalculating serious music,


.....pertinent to our lives."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Silly Face, I Miss You Badly


The Silliest Face that I Love!!!

When he walked those roads...


He never thought he could meet a girl who so into him, a girl who very charming on everything she does, when she smiled, when she laughed, when she is calling him with names... He could not ever think that he will be with her for eternity.

At first, he was so afraid if she just another girl who catches his heart but inside her, there is no space for him. He should not try to enter the door locked in there, but it is his heart inside that keep on telling himself  he should  just stay and be a patient thief if he wanted to steal her crystal heart. Afraid of getting hurt again and fail, he could be never loud out what he felt inside. His brain and his heart keeps on fighting for a wise decision. He felt like no man in him, felt like a chicken, felt like a coward that didn't wanna try again. Shadow of his past is over his conscious mind.

Later he realized that she builds up a little principle inside him where he'd carried along a while after, "If we love someone doesn't mean we should be together, and if we hate, no way being a part is an option". So he decided to stay and again with his broken wing, he promised to take care of her as far as he can without  her knowing that inside him, it is love encourage him.

However, the story goes short, all the love she saved for someone loving her is given to him at a very unexpected time. She kissed him. He paused on every second of that moment. It's like a slow motion and his heart beating fast. And with a smile she said to him "I will always be with you, taking care of you, together we walk now side by side, and please don't hurt me or break my heart". And that was the moment where she had to return to the castle for a short while. She asked him to wait for her return and ask him to take care of something that belongs to White force. She did also notice him about if she not return, "please don't encourage yourself  to look up for White, stay with the Black. Whatever  you think it is, just promise me that". He promised her even he didn't understand what that supposed to mean. He worried.

Here come the sun, he still holds the Black and wondering all the last moment, she said to him. Now the king has chosen him to guard his Majesty to the place of White. He was afraid when he has gone, she will be return, but it was an order to ensure that the Majesty is saved and return. He wants to refuse but how could he reject the responsible to keep the Kingdom hearts out of danger. Offer not been made but sword and shield are prepared to be worn.

He was given brief about his mission to the White. It's called China. In the library, he came to study about that place to ensure the journey was safe and not mistakenly direct. It's not really the place was calling " White". The White is a mission name for operation on winter seasons. He studies and studies until he read about Yin Yang. A beautiful symbol with white cover the black and black cover the white. He could not understand what the symbol stands for, but he was attracted with that symbol. He looks at the Black and trying to think deep about what she said but nothing hit the very little brain of his.


Now the journey had begun. He walks to the coolest desert of winter. He barely sees anything at the front because of heavy winter wind. While on foot, he smiles and misses her, remember back all the time they have spent with.

She not really happy to live in the castle, it is a different region out from the Kingdom where he lived. She's a student in arts and study in the Kingdom Institute, and they were met at Gladiator arena when he was one of the supreme admirals who needed to fight to prove that the Kingdom owns a true warrior.


Even she was lovely but nobody  knows how broken her life back then in her own country, not like him. Everybody knew how extreme and loyalty, he was to his job and assignment. Strict and zero tolerate on his enemy. They called him Crow Jiro, a name who symbolized his achievement of kill his own emotion and feelings, and done the task in no matter what to no regret.

She is a princess of her place, her beauty thick every heart of men, but no men could please her well. Since she was small, she was been dedicated her life to something she doesn't want to be. To please the injustice of King's Anger. She loves art, and art is an escape for her from her own misery.

So they were really met in a perfect time of glorify. Their friendship change the biggest part in their believing, which lead to a Smile of a Rose that grew in the concrete. Ever since that he always protects her in so many ways, even she was in an emotion disaster he was there. And now he was a surprise that he already owns a feeling and emotion. He started to worry as if it could low the stronghold of the Kingdom supreme army. He was taught once "Emotion Kills" and never gonna consume it in any emotion seasons.

Suddenly, he realizes he lost in the middle of the White. He already split up far away from the foot troops. He lost it. He keeps wondering until he was attacked by few pirates of Ebibadigedup. Sword was drawn and it's time for a dirty battle as he was attacked from behind and stab in a first counter. He lost his shield. Suddenly, he realized the pirate is one of the Ebibadigedup former leader Penan, who keeps marking his head as their own Arch Enemy. His body was slicing a couple of times, wounded and in a critical situation when the winter storm keeps storming harder. He could barely see in this all white environments, for more he never in an experience of winter battle. He lost his ability here.

He has already forgotten about the foot troops and his Majesty, with emotion of missing her. He fights for living now to ensure he was there when she was return later. However, he still out of tactics to win until he steps on Black. He looked at the Black with full of snow. It reminds him of the symbol he was attracted with. Now he realized that Ebibadigedup always equipped with unfinished metal job. It was filthy with black ore. To compare with Supreme Army battle suits, most of it a silver plate job. He flips the current situation by camouflage himself  in the winter, being part of the white while his eye keeps tailing Penan. With the strong hope to come back alive, he managed to win the battle and kill Penan in a very shadowing move. The different is now the shadow is all white. Even the winning blood was sheds, because of critical injuries he black out and cry..

"Your Majesty! Your Majesty, Crow Jiro eyes are opening now", yell one of the foot troops. He wakes up and asking what really happen to him. They said he was found unconscious in the middle of storm after a battle with Penan. "We did see the battle, but we couldn't know with who is Penan fight with. He keeps on fighting himself,  so we not draw in as we don't want to attract Penan to alert our existence to protect Your Majesty" said one of the foot troops.

"After we see Penan suddenly blood out and knockout,  Bear G ran up there to see what is really happened. All we saw is Penan dead body and your shield, sir". Bear G is a man who hired to lead the way in the heavy winter as he is more experience in a winter situation or what the soldier called Christmas Persona's. Bear G was shocked with that incident as he has never seen that kind of battle or notice any kind of living things that so invisible in the winter. That's why he drastically ran in after Penan was dropped facing the ground.

"But it was weird sir. You're full wounded but your shield was barely untouched at all, not even a tiny scratch on it, are you fight without a shield. It is so not you, sir". Notice one of the troops. "So how did you found me?" he asked.


"Because of you flipped the silver plate it makes us hard to know whether you were there or not, but we found this black thingy than we saw you near by. The back of silver plate braces that you flipped on is really making us blind to see you, and by the way. What is this black thingy?" asked the troops.

"Oh, that something that belong to someone important to me. Anyway  hence man, how is it Your Majesty condition" he started to realize his main objective in this White mission. "Are you feeling well my son?" ask from the Majesty. He shocked by that voice and stand up even he was barely standing. "Just rest on son, you just show me the best winter battle tactics. Where did you ever learn it?".

"........" he just answered a silence speak. Then he looked at the Black, "it is the Black, My Majesty. In one moment, I just realize that it cannot be two black in a white form, like the Yin Yang, it's only having one black in the white" he said.



"Huh? Yin Yang? That's so unbelievable, in short a timing you have a gut and an idea to consume yourself  in the white without  knowing it might kill you because of the top level of frozen degrees. You're really a strong man, that is so emotional between the black and white in Yin Yang, balance of a moment"" said Bear G.

" I'm the expert in the winter battlefield could never think of that in a serious draw while the battle is still on, and further more to think such a deadly tactic that might kill yourself,  it is very emotional, maybe the winter is really in love with you hahaha that's why you are still alive, what a great leader you got here hence man" said Bear G with a very touched laugh.


After Bear G mention the word emotion couple of times, he suddenly stands on his knee on the ground and "My Majesty, please forgive me for the selfishness action, I just realize this incidence is supposed not to be happen if I focus on my leading's. While the sword in my hand, I was told to myself  to fight not for you or the Kingdom, but to fight to stay alive, to ensure I came back in one piece, I'm so sorry and please forgive me." with a crying voice he apologized to his Majesty. "I have failed this mission".


"My son Crow Jiro, tell me what make you out of your focus. You're the best at this, and it's really made me out of understanding, explain to me. What is the failure part?" His Majesty asked.

"Emotion, My Majesty. I should always aware and know that emotion kills. I was carried away by something that not related with our mission, so I fail to prepare my best dedication to protect My Majesty the Heart of Kingdom. Even my shield was untouched. I threw it away while fighting, just the same what happen now. I throw your best shield to protect you." he said..


"YOU WERE WRONG MY SON!!" yell His Majesty. "I was chosen to be the Majesty not because of my dictatorship, war head or economics leadership, but I was chosen by the people in the Kingdom because of, I'm being able to be their heart. It is the emotion of our people, do you not believe in their emotion to choose me as the Heart of Kingdom?"

"This is your biggest failure of all, to kill your own emotion. What makes a living things alive? It is emotion my son. Even you teach your hence man about emotion kills but what is the best strength we have in all of odds? It is emotion. Don't make all the things is about yourself  achievement, even we always learn and taught that we need to do things for our own self, but if we are capable of doing it for someone else. We just gain a higher strength and ability to achieve it, even perfect we believe that we could make it and that's giving us the extra focus.." said the King.


"Listen this my son, this is what i do learn from my mother;

"Everyone needs time alone for a little soul searching at some point in their life. It's the right choice for now. It would be best if that child could forget the love he has for his mother, just as he forgot how to speak. However,.. even if someone loses the power of speech, they can live full lives if they have someone to love."

After a long conversation and a meaning full lecture, he takes his head up high and shed his tears "Thank you My Majesty, now I learn the strongest weapon of our Kingdom. It is the emotion in everyone heart. The strongest kingdom never promised a happy and harmony living, but our Kingdom, which believing in emotion did make us the best Kingdom in the region."

Now he is returned  to the kingdom. He notices she still didn't come back yet, but he received a letter from her. Content of the letter is;


"Hey dear, how are you? Hope all are okay. I missed you so much here, hope you feel the same way to. Hows Black? White here miss it to. I cant come back now but i will shortly be there again, just wait for me. Plus without black how could white balance her own emotion, like the Yin Yang. That is something i learn in the class. Hope to see you soon dear. Better be alive.. your dear Cheng"

After reading the letter, he got a smile on his face. He back to the library, look for the book of Yin Yang. He read over night and now he understands why she was not letting the black look for white.

The Yin Yang is not just about the balance of it, black in white and white in black. But the trust that needs to build. Why the black in white and black in the white is about trust of having each other. To be part of white doesn't mean we have to change from black to white, but to believe that we could live with white and being part of it, so due to black. And why it was symbolized in a circle form. It will always come back at once where it is the start, the heart and the emotion, we, being human. We could never kill our own emotion. It just maybe will take a long rotation before it is coming to the right time on the right rotation of life.

Now he knows, why he was marked as the black, and she was the white. He was blacked because of his seriousness of dealing things and make a thing complete in any circumstance, and white is the best position to calm the harm, to naturalize the little part in the black aggressiveness.

And for white, she needs black to playing the part of leading and responsible to ensure things wasn't so simple. Because human always lost in the simple way of living, lost of hope and faith. They will just be looking for an answer but not to create the answer itself.

So now when the black and white separate no matter how far, if we trust on each other, it always be there even a little dot.

Now to make a story more interesting with our own balance imagination, this is my favorite ending.. He is still waiting for her to come back no matter what. Why? Because the white need black and black need white, it just makes things more interesting. Just imagine if white just stay with white and black stay with black. Doesn't it be so boring to know just the best of our own self?

Try to walk to those roads he walked, u will understand the love of, he and she, the black and white.



Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Hey, you shoplifter




"Don't just take the candy and leave....

....Its hard to get that 20 cent."



i miss you lar actually hehe :)

Dedication




"Dedication,

it is a big word...

...with bigger responsibility,

...a man who can hold it, is a real heroes"

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My New Journey


"Before i met you, i only knew....
People always hold their head high, when walking forward,
Unlike my nervous glance in the store while shoplifting,

In front of me no road,
Behind me road is made,
I'm sure that i can leave,
My own road behind me,
.....While you holding my hand leads me to the road I'm not taken before"

You meant so much


You meant so much to me
You were special and that's no lie
You brightened up the darkest day
And the cloudiest sky

Your smile alone warmed hearts
Your laugh was like music to hear
I would give absolutely anything
To have you well and standing near

Not a second passes
When you're not on my minds
Your love we will never forget
The hurt will ease in time

Many tears I have seen and cried
They have all poured out like rain
I know that you are happy now
And no longer in any pain.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Meant to be..

"...If you kiss me, you will see the star,
And if you love me, i give them to you.."


"Meant to be....."

Nurul Amiera bt Mohd Amlan

.....When I first loved you

Love , the little chemistry.


"No, this trick wont work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?" - Albert Einstein

"Love is like playing the guitar. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart...."

"We can not do great things. We can only do little things with great love."

"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching...."



"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved...."

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..."

Interception..

The Reason


I'm sorry that i hurt, its something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through, i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, that's why i need you to hear

I'm not a perfect person, i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go that i just want you to know

I've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I see my self the way you remember me


In so many way i tried,
there is no a moment of truth,
i see a man,i see a women,
i see you,and i see me,


but the face of you guys,

so much stories, no definition,

so many way, soon so many thing to understand,

i giving trust, so many friends never appreciate it,


i cherish every poor,
but fair mean nothing but greedy,

my cry never drop a tears,
but rather tearing cry a blood,
i crying inside but outside ..... the way you remember me.

Tiki god


I Had a girl and she did me wrong
I didn't let that kinda shit go on too long
Split the clouds and divided the sea
Showed that evil girl how nasty the tiki god could be
She didn't call no more nor bother me
My little Tiki god made sure I'd live in peace
One day I read they found a body in the river
Tiki God, why you make me shake, you make me shiver, all right

I got a Tiki God... saves me... I got a Tiki God
When Bobby Brady found the idol in the rubble
Had no idea it would cause so much trouble
When Greg tried to throw it back in the ocean
There was a rumble, an awful commotion
Don't ask me how, but the tiki found Bobby
He thought the idol was some Hawaiian hobby
Turned out the god was mean and vicious
Didn't respond to Bobby's 3 wishes

He had a Tiki God... saves him... He had a Tiki God

So when you're caught up in an evil plot
Your life's in danger and you can hear the shot
Your head is spinning and your fading fast
How long do you think this kinda fun can last
Your luck will change with a simple motion
I found my idol in a bottle in the ocean
Splits the clouds and divides the sea
And shows those evil guys how nasty those tiki gods can be, all right

He had a Tiki God... saves him... He had a Tiki God Yeah Yeah All right

Kata Cibai : Kenapa kau katakan kau memahami aku

bagi mereka. aku hanyalah sesuatu yang mereka ingin buang... jika begitu... mengapa aku hidup? mengapa aku wujud?.. aku merasakan begini tentang diri aku.. bukan.. aku tiada pilihan lain melainkan untuk memikirkan yang diri aku sememangnya begini.. dan aku sedar yang perasaan ini adalah yang paling pedih sekali.. untuk menyedari yang kewujudan aku adalah tidak di perlukan dalam dunia ini.. kesakitan akibat keseorangan.. adalah sukar untuk di bawa dalam hati ini.. mengapakah? mengapakah kau katakan kau memahami ku?

For all the glory days

for all the days i been thru,for all the way i been walk,for all the world i've seen,for all the human i been meet,the ugly,the stupid,the fake and some we shud called bitch..and for only one love i always keep it in myself,it remain no changes in us...for all the ex made a gud life naw,keep ur self low,be well i'll be fine,u guys are nothing just a frens,and to my only girl naw,i love u like a mother,wit out u i just a ghetto child once again, to all my gster,we're like a best fren to a god,keep the drama to the low,but the game keep on grow,and last for all my soulmate,let the eyes to see,the mouth to talk and the heart to judge,we're always here in heart

Happiness is a myth?


does somebody really know what is it a happiness?
does it can be seen?
the existence which can be mean chaotic sometime,
the way it come really transparent,
but when its time to let it go, its too bold to notice it,
when to think back, happiness is just a myth,
which u know how it sound,how it is pictured it self,
but when it was here,we cant notice it was here,
but we feel comfortable and happy, we do smile,
suddenly *poof* like a magic its gone,
with one close eye its been draw on our face,

"I'm not happy, I'm all alone"

you, yes you,when we make it right,
like having things good,sex,talk,hot and wet,
but at the end..i just know even u didn't say anything,

"I'm sorry"

why we do divorce? why we break up?
isn't the happiness was there?

"I'm not sure"

that's all the unappreciated answer from whom wanna leave,
sometimes you cant just understand the tired of trying again,
come and go,its hard,when I'm the one appreciate, but you're not,
do you think it was fun?

"yeah too much fun"

I'm not asking about what we have done,
and you don't need to act like you appreciate it,
you walk away without a reason,it is clear,
but somehow today,i do see that happiness is a myth,
like any other myth,we know how it works,
to confirm it really exist or not,we look for it,
like believing it was true from discovery channel,
but i discovered it my self with a girl that i love,
happiness is only there when we meet,
then the myth was written in our history,
which people cant found it, where it is the happiness,
our story is the best way to tell and elaborate,
the truth meaning of happiness,and it is your own myth,
one day for our children..me and my girl never give up to each other,
and when love is said, it meant to be, i love u so much,
way too much,never want to leave, if that is the myth I'm looking for..

..

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