I look back on the life that we shared, and immediately my heart feels an intense sense of longing. I remember when I said I wanted you to stay in my life because I couldn’t imagine living every day without you. I remember all the nights that we spent as if the world was ours as if we were the only two people in the world.
You have no idea how much I remember every single moment that I had with you.
Because how could I forget a part of my life that was once special to my heart?
I think that wherever place I will end up, and whatever situation I will find myself in the future — I will always remember you as I look up at the dark expanse of the sky. And I don’t think I will ever forget you, even if we lost each other, even if our relationship was short-lived.
You will always be my favorite person to write about. You will always be the story that I love to tell the people that I meet. You will always be someone who made a huge difference in my life.
But as for now, I am gradually accepting that maybe we’re not really meant for each other. Maybe the universe has a better plan for me, a plan that I don’t know yet. Maybe someone is already destined to be your better half. And although it’s heartbreaking to know that it’s not me you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, I am still trying my best to be happy for you, for both of us.
I am trying to distance myself from you, hoping that it’s going to be an easy healing for me. I am trying not to imagine how settled and content you are in your life, while I am here putting my broken pieces together.
But I know that I am strong enough to mend this heartache.
I know that time is going to help me understand why you are not meant for me. I know that the universe is setting up a plan for me to meet someone, who’s going to fill my life with joy better than you did. I know that a few months from now, I will remember you but I will no longer remember the feelings that you gave me.
And when that time comes, my heart will be ready to be claimed by someone who will be honored to take care of it and complete it. I will be so happy in someone else’s arms that the pain I got from you will become irrelevant. I will see my reflection in someone’s eyes, and be overwhelmed to realize that it feels just right.
I will no longer have to doubt myself if I’m giving out too much love or too less of it because I will be certain for sure that the love I’m sharing is going to come back at me.
I will feel like the world is being nice to me again. I will be satisfied in my life, knowing that I have everything that makes my heart beat wildly. I will no longer miss the things that I lost, the people that I lost.
And I will be matured enough to completely understand why the universe didn’t make us be together, for now.
