I think they liked me for the wrong reasons and the wrong reasons were continue and people continue it to portraits lies about reality.
I feel so lala
There is a time when i was wandering thru the darkness of love, i prolly found a mirror that reflect all the bad in me. All the silent, i tied courage in the deepest pit of all. Until i missed all the life i left behind, the joy, the fun, the moment and the spectacular me. I was lost in the ocean of hatred. Soon after i gave up and made up my mind that i should start again where the ground i stand is something im not familiar with, suddenly there the angel come with a smile of Lala Land. Its remind me of Peter Pan, only joy can take him fly, so did i. I approach the angel and I see my self the way she remember me. It's something new but yet it feel familiar, she touched my heart and literally, maybe figuratively warm it. I can feel the calm of my heart beat getting slow in the warm of her love, then i close my eye... I am sure this something new, something that not continue from the previous cut, its like rebirth, its natural with out any attachment to the past. Maybe this is what the meaning of second chance, a resurrection. I feel empty, then she smile again with the brightest wing open up to block the light from the past. Then my own broken wing try to expand, with scar and wounded, yeahh still the same wing and im glad. This wing is my promise to the life i cherish and protect, with out fear or favour, unconditionally, and i knew this is not rebirth nor ressurection. This is my courage that self climb up from the pit I ditch in.
Even the wing is dirty and no sky light nor shine, but with proud it stand for what it fight for. The angel seems agree and glad that my wing still strong, she approach me when she notice i tried so hard to fly. She speak "dont be greedy" .
With smile, she slowly take my hands and pull me in towards her, then she ask "can i touch this? maybe i could teach you how to fly", im confuse because i believe i already knew how to fly.
Then she put her palm on my chest, on top of my heart. I notice that I skip a beat and everything around me started to move slow. And this feeling is so familiar, the feeling of courage all inside me. Its feel like when a baby keep trying to stand up, and want to walk to get to his mother. Maybe this all that i missing all this while, the courage. Then we fly to a place I always can only dream of, way beyond the rainbow.. its called Lala Land. And I ask her "how is this possible?" and she said " only a man with courage to love, to live, to care and to protect could reach here, it is a magical place where not sit behind a wall, or behind a door. It stay in these heart among all angels from heaven, and now you are here, you deserve to live here as long you have the courage to love for eternity." And I smiled, promised to her "my wings are dirty from the battle ground, but im ensure you that i want to live here forever unconditionally, to care and to protect. As long you open the chance for me to prove my honesty and loyalty to the heart of Lala Land"
Im still new in here, i cant tell much for now but im ensure you that this is gonna be my final journey and adventure to the greatest of all. And I feel so Lala :D